Valentine's Day.

What better day than Valentines Day to start a blog about how much my dating life sucks! MMMK. Yes, you'd think after reading that first sentence that I'd be a spinster cynic like Bridget Jones (hence the blog title reference) sitting around in her fluffy pink PJ's sobbing the words to "All By Myself".

*Disclaimer: Never done that FYI

But wait, it's not Valentines Day just yet. It's tomorrow. *puts the wine away* And for the record, I do not have fluffy pink PJ's. They're boxer shorts. With hearts on them. And they're pink. BUT NOT FLUFFY! See the difference?

So! Where to begin. My friends (I have some) seem to think my dating life is worth blogging about, and who am I to argue! My friends are right about things almost all of the time. Except when they're not. But my stories of broken hearts (mine, mainly) make them laugh instead of conjouring up feelings of pity towards me - or so I'm told (probs BOTH amirite?)

Maybe tomorrow. ON VALENTINES DAY. Fark.

Speaking of which, I do have a date for that. Miracle. Except it's a date I definitely should not have said yes to. For the 1 and only following reason:

It's with Audi.

Audi mentioned that he owned one (and bought one, "with cash") about 284,827 times. In the space of a few hours. Now, if you're pretty good at math, that equals STUPIDLY RIDICULOUS AMOUNTS. And so this date ended with him hailing a bus (WHERE'S THE AUDI NOW BROTHA), not looking at me and saying "see ya Dude" to the general direction of anywhere-but-me.

He called me yesterday, and said "I apologise for not texting or calling to say what a nice time I had" and I respond with "That's ok, I don't care" (too harsh too soon?) and he's a bit taken aback, and continues with "we should do something for valentines day" (really DUDE, should we?) and I simply say "really?" he says "yes" (you can tell I'm not into this, right?) and so I agree, for some unknown reason, to meet near him for Valentines Day lunch.

WHY DO GUYS ALWAYS ASK ME TO MEET THEM CLOSEST TO THEM? Where's the man that says "where do you live? can we meet in the middle? would that be more convenient for you?" I'll tell you what's convenient, the AUDI that's not being used to pick me up! Now don't get me wrong, I am not some stuck up prissy princess who demands you open the door for me, but simply geographic courtesy would not go astray.

So despite his "with cash" Audi, it would not surprise me if my Valentines Day meal consisted of a McValentine Burger (yes I'd like fries with that).

Because let's face it, the guy clearly has no idea. And I didn't even tell you the half of it (again, if you're good at maths, that's about NOT VERY MUCH AT ALL)

- B